Quiz from Chapter One Are You A Shy Guy?

This book is designed to help Shy Guys take a one-way trip out of Shy Town and into Confidenceville, USA.-population: You!

Take the following quiz to determine if you are a Shy Guy, and if this is the right book for you. You may pick more than one response to each question. Give yourself one point for each answer you pick. Then add up the total number of points when you are finished.

1) The thought of meeting a new girl makes you:

  1. enthusiastic for a new opportunity

  2. as tense as Al Gore

  3. paralyzed with fear

  4. tongue-tied

2) Which of the following Warner Brothers characters best describes your social skills?

  1. Pepe Le Pew (smooth Casanova with body odor)

  2. Bugs Bunny (hides in a hole most of the time)

  3. Foghorn Leghorn (talks the talk, but he can't walk the walk)

  4. Tasmanian Devil (no focus; all over the place; mildly retarded)

  5. Yosemite Sam (loud and blustery, always shooting off his guns)

3) You don't like meeting new people because:

  1. you are uncomfortable with your appearance

  2. you are afraid you will say the wrong thing

  3. you are not particularly good at conversation

  4. you are very picky about who you associate with 

4) You prefer to:

  1. surround yourself with a small group of close friends

  2. hang out alone

  3. associate only with your family

  4. chase after every girl in sight

  5. join clubs that have almost exclusively male memberships

5) If you had things your way, you would:

  1. go through life celibate

  2. have one girl who you could be with for the rest of your life

  3. go through more chicks than the Fonz.

  4. have subscriptions to all the best porno mags

6) When people ask you personal questions about your social life, you wish you could:

  1. curl up and die

  2. disappear

  3. cause them as much humiliation as they are causing you

  4. rip their heads off

7) When you meet a girl you like, you:

  1. let her know right away

  2. keep it to yourself, for fear of embarrassment

  3. tell only a few close friends

  4. find a way that you can be around her all the time, without actually letting on that you like her

8) The reason you never meet any girls is because:

  1. you are so busy with school

  2. you are so busy with work

  3. you never have any opportunities

  4. you just don't know how to talk to girls

  5. you are good at making excuses

9) Your idea of a good time is:

  1. a quiet night at home, alone, reading a book

  2. a quiet night at home, alone, watching TV

  3. playing Myst on your computer

  4. a night out with the boys, chasing chicks

10) You never have any luck with girls because:

  1. you are too picky

  2. you are waiting for a girl to approach you

  3. you don't try hard enough

  4. you are just unlucky in love

11) You do not have a girlfriend because:

  1. you don't want one at this time

  2. you can't afford one

  3. your friends always ruin your chances

  4. you are intimidated by the girls you really like

  5. you just haven't found the right one yet

12) You are most comfortable talking to:

  1. strippers

  2. phone sex operators

  3. barmaids and waitresses

  4. girls at parties

13) The one thing preventing you from dating any girls right now is:

  1. you live at home, and your family would only embarrass  you

  2. your friends would bust your chops

  3. you don't make enough money to take anyone out

  4. you are really good at making excuses

14) The Elvis Presley song that best sums up your experiences with girls so far is:

  1. "Love Me Tender"

  2. "Don't Be Cruel"

  3. "Heartbreak Hotel"

  4. "Kissing Cousins"

15) If a girl found out you liked her, you would:

  1. kill yourself

  2. consider joining the priesthood

  3. become nervous and uncomfortable around her

  4. take advantage of this situation

16) When people ask you nosy questions about your personal life, you:

  1. pleasantly answer all the questions

  2. lie like a rug

  3. wish a bolt of lightning would come down and strike them dead

  4. politely inform them that it's none of their business

17) The thing that scares you the most is:

  1. having your fingernails ripped off one by one

  2. having a pit bull chomp onto your genitals and not let go

  3. walking around naked in Times Square

  4. having a girl find out you like her

18) Which of the following group names did the singing Brady kids  perform under on The Brady Bunch?

  1. The Brady 6

  2. The Brady City Rollers

  3. The Brady Rhythm Section

  4. The Silver Platters

(Okay, I admit, that last question had nothing to do with being shy. I just threw it in to see if you were paying attention. The answers are A and C. But if you were a Shy Guy in the early seventies, you probably spent a lot of Friday nights at home watching The Brady Bunch!)

 

Scoring: 10-15 points: You're not a Shy Guy! What the hell are you doing reading this book?

16-20 points: You're semi-shy, but with a little help, you can be saved.

21-25 points: You're a Shy Guy! You need this book! Study it like the Bible! Memorize it! Learn it! Know it!

26-30 points: To paraphrase Kajagoogoo, you're too shy-shy, hush hush, eye to eye!

31-35 points: Well, at least we've identified your problem. Now let's see what we can do to solve it!

36-40 points: Have you tried Nintendo 64? They've got some really cool graphics...

Okay, so let's say you've taken my little quiz, and you've confirmed what you already knew all along--that you are a Shy Guy. Now what do you do?

Buy the book and go to Chapter One and read about it!   

BOOK'S INTRODUCTION

ASK THE SHY GUY:  CURRENT | ARCHIVED

SHY GUY FAQ

WHAT A GIRL MEANS

TOP TEN BEST PICK UP LINES

TOP TEN WORST PICK UP LINES

ORDER - THE SHY GUY'S GUIDE TO DATING

 

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